I've been dating this girl for over 2 years now, the past 6 months I have been losing that 'gf/bf love' connection that we once shared. I still love her, but more as a friend. She knows this to a certain extent, and that I don't really want to be married to her, as I will throw out comments here and there to let her know.

The thing that worries me is that she is emotionally unstable, less so now than when I first met her. Yes, I know that I should have saw this as a red flag when we first started dating, but she was just coming out of a long-term relationship so I attributed her depression and emotional imbalance to that.

She has said on several occasions that if it weren't for me, she would probably not be living right now. I know that I shouldn't feel responsible to make other people happy, but I still care for her and I'm afraid if I break off the bf/gf relationship that she will take her own life, or something else just as dramatic.

I can't help but feel like an asshole for carrying on the relationship or ending it, it's a lose-lose situation...  

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Lally (100)
zombie4life (3 - f*cking cheapskate)
im with stupid
(1)

If you were to tell her this, but be more specific to your situation, then what could you say?  You could say that you feel you could be for her better as a friend.  Someone who can care for her, and already knows who she is at a very deep level because you have been with her for so long.  

How would she react to that?  A "break" to see each other as friends for a while.

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¡ɹnɥʇ ıɐɥ ɥo

You are not responsible for her life. She is completely in control of what happens to her life. I know you're probably thinking of all the 'buts' because you know that you have helped her and you do care and don't want to see anything bad happen to her. But what SHE chooses to do is beyond your control. Seriously.

You know that you don't want to be in the relationship right now. It isn't fair to you and it isn't fair to her because you know that it isn't what you want anymore. She deserves to be with someone who wants to be with her completely and that isn't how you feel anymore. You also can't sacrifice your own happiness for someone else. This is your life. It's your chance to find what you're looking for and someone who makes you happy and complete. It sounds incredibly selfish. But it's also true an I think you see that.

Ending a long relationship is never easy and your situation is more complicated because of her emotional instability. But it seems inevitable at this point. Do you think it will help her to drag it out for longer? She certainly deserves the respect of having you be honest with her about how you feel. And the respect of having you end it before you guys waste longer in a relationship that you know is pretty much dead already.

I would suggest making sure she knows that you're serious about wanting to remain friends. Tell her that it isn't just a break up line, you really have valued her friendship and hope she'll stay close with you. And then let her know that you want to see her do great things with her life and fall in love with someone else. I just feel like reminding her of the good in her future will help her see it instead of dwelling on the pain that comes along with ending a relationship.

By offering her your continued friendship and then following through by making sure you really do talk to her after the break up, you're doing all that you can to protect her while also giving yourself a chance to be happy and fall in love. Her life is not your responsibility. She is responsible for it. As much as you're tempted to sacrifice yourself for her, you also know it isn't what is right for both of you. Really, she has to grow and learn to stand on her own.

Sorry you're in such a tough spot, Ryan. If you ever want to talk, just drop me a line. <3

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kid, I wrote back,
all lovers betray.